Sunday, September 30, 2012

My last goodbye || to be released on November 1, 2012  Exclusive Pre-release Copy

Wake me up when September ends...

Can't be sure I will have power, Internet, phone or a place to go if I step outside or if I am even safe here right now and the lease was modified by hand and I was forced to sign under duress. 

Releasing this while I have the opportunity. 

Wish me luck. Hopefully my message is getting through.

With love,

Just me,

September 30, 2012

Subject: My last goodbye || to be released on November 1, 2012


You lied to them and told them I was living with you for the last 8 years. That is not true. However, since you claimed me as a dependent through 2009 you got LUCKY that I have clean record and passed Background check.

You rushed the interview and told them I was moving in on the 22nd. You told them I was graduate student at Vanderbilt when you know damn well that Columbia has offered me a spot that in the Fall 2012 class.

You asked me to give YOU the money instead of paying tuition.

You have made ridiculous requests and asked me to forgo spending money on personal items including medication and demanded that I give you the money instead.

The lease has been put into a private file along with the other documents that YOU filled out.

Rather than using MY references, or people such as Doreen who know me personally, you chose to list people I have never met before. Like Bonnie, or Lisa?

I am 39 years old.

You pulled this shit when I was 12, 17, 22, 29, 36 by disconnecting my phone from family plan I selected!

You refused to transfer number so all my benefits got fucked up because no one could reach me during the months of the Flood in Tennessee.

You insist upon repeatedly telling me how to behave, dress, look, and what YOU deem acceptable conversation.

You create a new drama everyday and go bat shit crazy with complete disregard for how it affects the people around you.

You may be crazy, but at least you are predictable.

I anticipated and made back up plans based upon your past behaviors, and as it turns out, I was spot on the money.

Too bad I didn't place a bet, because I would be a very rich woman.

IF you do not change the way you talk AT me and about me, you will find that I am a more reliable source than you will ever be.

I don't care how "pretty" you are or what you think of me or anyone else for that matter. You have alienated everyone from your family and no matter how many times you change your name, you are still the same pathetic woman who blames everyone else for your problems.

I am not your scapegoat or lifeline.

Any credit that you take for MY achievements, rest assured that my brilliant analytical mind and keen observations of human behaviour are from watching you pull the same "poor me" bullshit and histrionics since I was a small child.

You don't deserve a medal for making me into the person that you love to hate. If you have a problem with my behaviour or the way I feel about you then take a look in the mirror because clearly you failed as a parent.

It's too late to turn back now, and no matter how many times you apologize or tell me that you love me and want me in your life, you are so needy and hysterical that you create disasters just for attention.

I simply do not have the time or energy to let you play games with my health or well being when so many doctors and professionals have placed emergency alert on my files stating that you are NOT the loving mother or "qualified" therapist you pretend to be.

You are blocked from all my medical and legal records for a reason. Because you consistently try to interfere with my health and cause more damage than good.

I have tried to work with you. I have provided you with basic fact sheets and information about Autism Spectrum Disorders and you do not care enough to modify your behavior to control your vicious and abusive actions.

I realize you are unable to control yourself and you actually believe your revisionist history despite IRS, CID, SSA, Court Records and expert medical reports that have been filed by people who have evaluated me AND the evidence that paints a very sad picture of the "real" Karen Rose Baker Durant Berlin Weisbart Kahn.

Truth be told, as hard as I try to "forgive" your horrific actions in the past, I feel sorry for you, but simply do not care enough to be the target of your next scam or psychotic breakdowns and want no part of it.

THIS is how I feel. THIS is how much I care. I care enough to walk away.

Find somebody else to pretend to rescue because if this is your "inheritance" gift to me before you die, you have an awful lot of stipulations and conditions to protect YOU and your SO-called "Trust"

I will not lie for you. I will not change who I am to make you "look" like a good parent. The truth is, I'm better off without you.

THAT is how much I love the person I have become. Too much to let trample all over the projects and opportunities that are before me.

I hope it was worth it. Because you are betting AGAINST me and that is obvious by your paranoia, your attempt to alienate and isolate me from the people and things I love, and the insurance policies and legal stipulations you demanded that I sign against legal and medical advice.

This is what YOU have created.




Yom Kippur, 2012

I guess you have another person to grieve for. Too bad you only have one candle because you have two children who would rather be dead than let you control, manipulate and destroy anything and everything that gets in your way.

9:22 pm

FaceBook backup download

Amazon return file cabinet

Voter registration (check status)

Police Report: Records Dept

Package from Mom

Medical Appointment


Verizon Dispute TOS

Weigh pros cons re: Netbook

Order Files (wishlist)

Traci Appointment

Door locks

Confirm Pest Control Schedule

Remember this is GO TIME!

Stay calm

Stay focused



No comments:

Post a Comment