Saturday, December 1, 2012

Santa Claus is an Aspie by @AspieKid

Santa Claus is an Aspie

by AspieKid,
November 29th 2012

Santa Claus is an aspie. Most people don’t know that about him, but it’s true. He is very reclusive, you know, like so many aspies are, so he chooses to live at the North Pole. I think Santa has an aversion to sunlight because of some sensory issues and he likes those long dark winters at the pole. He probably stays inside during the summer months. Also, like most aspies, myself included, Santa’s friends are mostly elves. And he relates much better to animals than people, just like lots of aspies do. Santa’s best friends in the animal world are reindeer.

Santa is also echolalic. Certainly you must have noticed the way he he utters that same old nonsense syllable over and over, just like he’s been doing for decades. And he has lots of other characteristically aspie traits too. For example, Santa prefers to wear the same clothes all the time. He has really intensely focused interests like building and distributing toys. He mutters kids’ names over and over to himself as he paces around his workshop.

And like so many of us aspies, Santa owes most of his success to Asperger Syndrome. He has the savant-like ability to remember the personal interests and addresses of every girl and boy on the planet, and whether they’ve been naughty or nice. Santa is also an expert navigator, especially in inclement weather. As an animal trainer, Santa is leaps and bounds above the rest. And he is unsurpassed as a toy inventor, manufacturer and distributor.

Santa is extremely introverted, which is another common aspie trait. So if you want him to visit you, you have to lure him into your home with milk and cookies, and even then he won’t come in unless he knows you are all sleeping. That’s just the way it is with Santa. He definitely occupies his own little corner of the autism spectrum, that’s for sure.

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