How is Pathological Lying Treated?

m.wisegeek.com

This page doesn't appear to be an article and therefore may not display well in the Article View. You may want to switch to the Full Web Page view.

If you know there should be an article here, help improve the article parser by reporting this page. Thanks!

The term pathological lying essentially translates to uncontrollable lying. This can mean that a person who is suspected of pathological lying is considered to have a disease, and therefore cannot control the lying. However, psychologists and psychiatrists fail to account for a specific definition of pathological lying as a disease. It can be symptomatic of other conditions, like antisocial personality disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) or attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). It is not always present in these conditions, so a clear treatment set for pathological lying has not been defined.

An interesting study on pathological lying published in the October 2005 British Journal of Psychiatry suggest that the pathological liar may have a slightly different brain than those people disposed to tell the truth. In the prefrontal cortex of the brain, pathological liars were shown to have 26% more white matter than do people with other psychological disorders who don’t lie. Previously, white matter has been linked to ability to lie. Lower amounts of white matter is typical in the brains of people with autism, who generally cannot lie, suggesting that more white matter disposes one to the increased ability to lie.

From research in child development we know that children tend to become much more credible liars when they are about 10. Before that, they generally are not believable. This 10-year mark coincides with noted development of white matter in the prefrontal cortex. More white matter may simply mean more lying, and too much white matter might translate to pathological lying.

Unfortunately, this study does little to address how these new findings could affect treatment. In fact, it specifically states that this research hasn’t led to any new ideas for treatment. Like the autistic, who suffers from too little white matter in the prefrontal cortex, pathological liars may not be able to have their condition resolved if the basis for their condition is a result of brain structure.

Many people who exhibit pathological lying also clearly exhibit symptoms of other treatable conditions. Conditions like ADHD and OCD are treatable through medication, though different ones. This makes accurately diagnosing underlying conditions important. The last thing one would want to give a person with OCD is a stimulant like Ritalin, which would likely exacerbate their disorder.

Personality disorders that contribute to pathological lying may also respond to a combined treatment of psychiatric medication and cognitive behavioral therapy. The goal with pathological lying must in the end be to treat any evidence of illness or conditions that may influence the lying. This may include medications and the use of behavioral therapy to help the person overcome compulsive lying.

Therapy and medication require compliance from the person being treated, and the pathological liar who has antisocial disorders may not wish to be treated. A person who suffers from pathological lying must on some deep level be committed to the work required in cognitive behavioral therapy, as well as be willing to take medications. The trouble with these methods is that pathological liars can quite easily lie about taking their medications, or about their effectiveness of medications. They can also quite credibly lie about what is happening in their life, which may void the efficacy of therapy.

Article Discussion

214)

I am a 30 year old mother of one and have bee lying since I can even remember. I lie for attention, pity, to manipulate, for the thrill, to see how far i can go, to see if I get caught whether I can lie my way out of it.

My lies have been:

Saying that I was raped when I had sex willingly. I have done this several times. I did it just recently, actually. I actually engaged in a relationship with another pathological liar even though I am married. Well today, my husband said he was divorcing me. Funny thing is, that the other pathological liar doesn't even know he is one. I have investigated and done some research and have uncovered his lies. Because who better to know, right? Funny thing is, that it pissed me off (pot calling kettle black) and turned me on. In the sense that I understand.

This person is involved with masonry but made up these wild crazy stories about stealing sperm from him to create more bloodline children that he cannot access. He cried and everything. I lied to my husband and said that this man threatens our lives and demanded i be with him. I even moved out and lived with him while my husband waited. It all caught up with me in the sense that my husband just couldn't take the emotional torture that i was putting him through with the threats, the rapes etc. He never found out whether it was true or not but he decided to divorce me and though I am devastated I can't stop.

I like the attention, I like inducing the pain, I like the arguing and the challenge.

With the other guy I mentioned, I am currently lying about being pregnant with twins. I have sonograms and live video and fake doctor documents. I have even taken it a step further to say that I can die if i have these children. I am good at the crying and playing traumatized victim. I have made up these lies, oddly enough, in retaliation to his lies. As if it's a lie challenge.

I lied about my race. My husband caught me in that one.

I am destroying my life and my family. Big time. But I keep doing it.

I lied about being in the building during 9-11. Even though I worked there, I wasn't there that day. I told this elaborate story that i have told for so long now that sometimes I believe it.

What I am doing is crazy. The people I am hurting unending. The reason? Because i can? I don't know.

I know that I am not completely soulless because i do feel bad. And I believe I do it knowing that I am sabotaging my relationships because deep down inside I don't deserve them and it's my way of letting them go. But I can't just let them go; i have to make them hate my guts in order to protect them from me in the future.

- anon86835 213)

My mother is a pathological liar. For as long as I can remember, she has lied about everything, even the smallest, most insignificant things.

When I was younger, she used to lie about what I didn't do compared to what my brother did for her; she used to do this to my face.

As I got older, she lied constantly to her family to get their pity and attention. My parents then got a divorce due to my mother's infidelity. She covered this up by telling everyone that our father sexually molested us and she left him because of this.

She lies to save herself, she lies to protect herself, she lies to get what she wants. It's not just the lying, it's the blatant selfishness that comes with the lying.

I read about the Munchhausen Syndrome, and this fitted her perfectly, except for the medical side of things. She lies for the attention and to be seen as a "victim", so that she gets the sympathy she craves.

Now, I am a mother of two, and I love my kids very much. My mother then started lying to my kids, creating vivid stories of bad treatment from her daughter: me. She does this to get their sympathy and "get them on her side" - everything is a competition and she doesn't like to lose. She has hurt me and my family with her lies over the years, and now is attempting to ruin my relationship with my own children. Her lies have scarred too many lives.

I have now cut her out of my life altogether. As confirmed by what I have read so far about pathological liars, there is no cure. As I read people's posts here, one thing strikes me as odd: you guys know that you are lying, you are actually aware of it, and I understand that you can't stop, but the fact that you *know* the very moment that the lie leaves your tongue.

If you really want to save your relationship/s, call yourself on your lies. As soon as a lie escapes your mouth, admit it outright "Sorry, that was a lie..". Maybe you will infuriate people with it, but I guarantee you will earn back the respect that you lost.

- anon86623 212)

i can tell that I'm not alone when it comes to lying! all this time I'm thinking I'm the worst person in the world who lies so much that it's getting out of hand and basically ruining my relationship with the love of my life!

i lied to him about little things and trust me, it's killing him softly. the thing is, i lie but i get caught easily and then admit to it when i do get caught.

i need your help too, people! i don't want to lose this man. he is the best thing that has happened to me in my entire life! i would like to know how to stop! i don't know what to do and how to deal with it. honestly i don't know where to start.

i love this man and i don't want to lose him! i've been lying all my life and i don't know how to stop! I'm actually keeping even more secrets that i can't share with him just yet and it's actually killing me.

- anon86568 211)

my husband lies like no other. he has told other people that I am a horrible mother and that I complain all the time. Which in turn has turned his whole family and friends against me.

His mother has gone so far as to call CPS on me because of the lies her son has told. Cps came and said there was nothing wrong. Anyway, how do I help him and save our marriage, or at least what is left of it?

How do I get others to see his lies and support me in helping him?

- anon86286 210)

For as long as I can remember myself, I have lied. I know I've had this issue but have yet to truly face it. I sometimes want to end everything because of it. I'm only 16. I have read most of these posts and while reading these I have realized that it needs to end I don't know how to.

My parents won't help me. I believe they hate me. Parents are sometimes forced to love their kids; isn't that a shame? Lying comes to easily to me and it sickens me inside. My life stinks. The two people I love are dead and the last one I care second to the most is on his way to high heavens. (that scares me so much).

I have had quite a few things happen to me in the past that makes me hate myself even more than I do now. I sometimes wonder if my parents will like it when I'm gone. Do they ever wish grandma didn't die? I bet my "father" does.

Truth is, I don't like my own biological father. Why? Because he was never there for me when I was growing up in CA. I grew up with my Great Grandma and I felt I was deserted. It was a horrible feeling and it made me hate my biological parents so much. I made my life seem perfect because the truth was it was horrid to me. I wanted my real parents, not my great grandma, great uncle, and grandpa.

My lies were always so lame and useless. I feel ashamed and really worthless. Another reason for me to not eat. I hate food, I feel I'm fat and not worthy of anyone. I don't. I'm a horrible person because I lie. Even saying or seeing that word makes me sick. I feel I don't belong in society. I don't have any relationship with my dad. He is just that guy I live with.

Every day I think two more years and I'm out of here. I want to graduate HS and become someone but I don't want to be that girl that lied all the time in HS.

I don't believe in God. If anything, the only thing he ever did for me was take my great grandma aka my mother away from me. Does that mean I believe he exists? Everything I do and say is monitored and I feel that I have no privileges. I do suppose I don't deserve any. What kind of person am I turning into? I make my own self repulsed. I need help. No one will believe me soon enough. And I will feel my life is meaningless and pull the trigger. I hope that doesn't happen but who's to say?

We all live every day only being one day closer to dying anyway. Maybe I'm just weak or naive. If my father was to ever read this, I would be surprised. I know he would know who wrote this. I don't want to apologize to you father. In my eyes, heart, and soul you don't deserve credit for me. I bet you don't even want any.

I'm not the daughter you wished for. I never will be. I rebel against you because I dislike you. I don't want you to accept me. Judge me. I don't need your permission for being me. I've accepted that my brothers are messed up and I realized I am the one with the worst side of things. I don't know how to stop this lying. You can't go cold-turkey on something as big as this. I wish my grandma was here. Truth is: She's dead. Two years now and still counting. "She'll always live in my heart"- My Father. So? She's still gone and I'm still here.

Music isn't helping me either. I've tried and tried. Maybe I'll become an outcast and live somewhere secluded so no one but my cats can hear me lie. Does that make you happy, Dad? This is more aimed towards him I suppose. I'm not blaming him so much though, he didn't kill Grandma. Old age did.

- anon85902 209)

I'm 32. The first time I lied I was maybe 5 or 6. I remember telling my best friend that my brother had died. The teacher told my mom, who in turn confronted me. Our family had recently divorced and my brother had moved away with his father.

My mom asked me "Do you feel like your brother died because he is gone now?" I said yes to make my mother feel as though there was some reason - some worthy reason- for the lie. But in truth, even then I knew, that I had lied for attention - to have a story to share that would captivate my young audience.

I loved my best friend then, and I love many of the people I lie to now.

I found it interesting to read what others lie about so I will make an abbreviated list of things I lie about:

1. my financial status. I lie that I am financially secure, or in a more extreme fashion I have lied that I am very wealthy. I am not. I have terrible credit and a low paying job. I do not own the many houses (in this country and beyond!) that I claim to.

2. My education. I lie that I am more educated than I am. That I have Masters degrees and am working on a PhD. I graduated from college, yes, but with a terrible GPA.

3. My job. I lie about the jobs I have had and the job I am currently in. I create entirely false professional accomplishments.

4. My family. I exaggerate about their accomplishments and "stations" in life.

I'll stop there. It seems I lie to make myself into the person I wish I was. Ironically, the lying has surely prevented me from accomplishing things, or maintaining relationships that may have helped me actually become the person I lie about being.

The back-stories, lies to cover lies. The questioning friend or parent. The utter mortification and sinking feeling when someone has caught you in a "slip." I know all that too well.

One poster said something along the lines of "how can I go to therapy when I would just lie to the therapist?" I have felt exactly the same way - that same fear.

I don't know how to stop - and, in fact, I don't think I will anytime soon. There are too many "alive and well" lies in my life right now that if I begin to be honest, the relationship I treasure most would surely cease.

I wish I could go back to the point where we met and be honest. I wish I liked myself enough to be happy with who I was and the things I have accomplished (which if I think about it, my accomplishments are something I could be proud of if I didn't have this bleeping super-hero alter personality that would make anyone feel boring!)

So there is it. I pray for us - the liars and the lied-to. I can only speak for myself here, but for those of you who have been lied to please know there is a real probability that the liar does love you - doesn't want to hurt you, but in some way, and for some probably terrible reason they may not even realize- they do not feel as though they deserve you.

We liars don't feel accomplished enough. Smart enough. Wealthy enough. Motivated enough. You name it- we dont feel like we are/have/deserve enough. It's a sad way to be.

I don't want my life to be like this, but honestly, I don't see myself changing any time soon. Good luck to all of us.

- anon85471 208)

i have been lying my whole life and for the last four years the woman i love more than anything has received the brunt of this. she has tried to help and tried to be supportive and each time that i try, I'm good for a little while then i slip up again and lie.

It's killing her and it's killing me. i want to stop, more than anything in this world, but i just can't seem to. i need help. i need to learn how to not lie. please, anyone who can help me it would mean the world to me, it might yet not be too late for me to keep her with me and keep her happy.

- anon84826 207)

I discovered through reading these posts that I have a problem with lying. However, it seems as though it's too late. I have made such a mess of things that my wife is leaving me. Her hurt is so deep seated that there is nothing I can say to her to get her to hear me. She is very adamant about leaving because it's what she wants to do.

I would like for her to be with me when I go to the therapist to see exactly what the problem is, but she is not willing to go. She is so hurt that she just don't want to deal with me anymore. I love my wife very much and have said things to her that were contrary to what I really feel.

Unfortunately, words have a stinging consequence and that consequence is a hard pill to swallow. My prayer is that I am not to late in dealing with my problem and that I can get my family back. I know that my wife or others just don't understand what we go through if we have this condition but it is a pain in the butt for sure.

As I read these posts I have come to realize all of my problems and I felt some weight lift off of me because I could finally understand myself and what I was going through. I will say that if you are reading this that you need to get help!

Don't wait until it's too late and you lose your family, loved ones, your job or yourself in the process.

If you're like me and you're facing separation then my advice to you is to read these posts, understand your problem and go get help! Get help while you still have a wife or husband, get help while you still have a support system, get help while you still have a job, get help while you still have your sanity, because if you wait until it's too late then things will get progressively worse and then you will have a harder time than before.

- vberr 206)

I have been lying ever since i can remember. i am so confused now i have no idea what i have said to whom and what is true and what is not.

My lies are spontaneous and unplanned and i never think twice about what consequence my lie might have. today i was toying with the idea that i might have a problem and i came across all these posts where everyone is talking about so many things i have experienced and faced. i think i do have this problem, too.

i have not gotten caught too many times and i am good at dodging the situation or covering it up with more lies, but it is a haunting feeling. Those lies never leave you, they catch up with you sooner or later, and it is a very unhealthy and stressful condition to live in, worrying about when you might be found out.

The things i lie about are so stupid and so pointless. But they do have a trend, they make me a more interesting person. However, i have built up the person that i am based on these lines and now the borders and boundaries are blurring.

i am not sure who i really am once i peel off these lies away from me, one by one, and i am not sure if i will like or i will reconcile with the true person standing behind all these lies.

How do we deal with this? Lying is wrong and i hate that i lie. i just want to be true, to myself and others.

has anyone gotten past this? i feel like this is so much a part of me that i can't get out of it, ever. is this true? please help me.

if anyone can let me know how to get past this, do drop in a line.

- anon83676 205)

I lie constantly. I lie so much I don't even realise I'm doing it. I don't know what's a lie and what isn't anymore. My life is such a tangle of the real and the imagined. Even I can't tell which is which now. I lie to myself about the extent of the problem, and the extent to which it is normal.

I lie to my boyfriend, the love of my life. About all the times I've cheated on him, and he finds out and I lie to cover it up. I make up another lie even in the face of his, ‘if you lie to me again, it’s over.’

I lied to him when I got pregnant and told him it was his. I have no idea if it was his.

I lie to cover up the other life I lead, the idiots I hang around with, the attention I crave.

I lie to the other guys I pick up. I lie that I don't have a boyfriend. I lie about my sexual history.

I lie that I have a savings account with 20 grand in it.

I lie about my interests and hobbies to make myself seem more interesting.

I lie that my heritage is Czech – I have no Czech heritage in me whatsoever.

I lie about the score I achieved when I finished school.

I lie and exaggerate my drug problem to my friends; I lie and under-exaggerate my drug problem to my family.

I lie that I was a ballerina and that explains how skinny I am not and my eating disorder.

I lie to my friends and pretend I’m better and have overcome my eating disorder. They are obviously baffled by my behaviour and what is going on.

I lie to them and cancel on them and go and do things I guess I would rather be doing with men I don't even know? Is this what I want? I can't even think clearly enough to know.

I lie to everyone I meet about my qualifications and what I studied at university and the reasons that I left. And I justify it to myself.

I straighten my hair and work at length to lie and pretend it's straight.

I go to the solarium and lie and say I've been in the sun.

I lie to myself and pretend I'm fine. I can actually truly, convince myself that the life I lead is normal. Sometimes. Then it all comes crashing down.

I know the truth will set me free. I am so ashamed of what I am and what I have become. I know I wasn't always like this. I am so sick of hurting everyone, I am so sorry for hurting everyone. I have burnt so many bridges.

I am so out of touch with my heart and soul, who I am, what I want from life, my potential. I have no idea anymore. The confusion and the lies are as thick as a maze.

- erin13 204)

I lie constantly. I lie so much I don’t even realise I’m doing it. I don’t know what’s a lie and what isn’t anymore. My life is such a tangle of the real and the imagined. Even I can’t tell which is which now. I lie to myself about the extent of the problem, and the extent to which it is normal.

I lie to my boyfriend, the love of my life. About all the times I’ve cheated on him, he finds out and I lie to cover it up. I make up another lie even in the face of his, ‘if you lie to me again, it’s over’

I lied to him when I got pregnant and told him it was his. I have no idea if it was his.

I lie to cover up the other life I lead, the idiots I hang around with, the attention I crave.

I lie to the other guys I pick up. I lie that I don’t have a boyfriend. I lie about my sexual history.

I lie that I have a savings account with 20 grand in it.

I lie about my interests and hobbies to make myself seem more interesting.

I lie that my heritage is Czech – I have no Czech heritage in me what so ever.

I lie about the score I achieved when I finished school.

I lie and exaggerate my drug problem to my friends; I lie and under-exaggerate my drug problem to my family.

I lie that I was a ballerina and that explains how skinny I am not and my eating disorder.

I lie to my friends and pretend I’m better and have overcome my eating disorder. They are obviously baffled by my behaviour and what is going on.

I lie to them and cancel on them and go and do things I guess I would rather be doing with men I don’t even know? Is this what I want? I can’t even think clearly enough to know.

I lie to everyone I meet about my qualifications and what I studied at University and the reasons that I left. And I justify it to myself.

I straighten my hair and work at length to lie and pretend it’s straight.

I go to the solarium and lie and say I’ve been in the sun.

I lie to myself and pretend I’m fine. I can actually truly, convince myself that the life I lead is normal. Sometimes. Then it all comes crashing down.

I know the truth will set me free. I am so ashamed of what I am and what I have become. I know I wasn’t always like this. I am so sick of hurting everyone, I am so sorry for hurting everyone. I have burnt so many bridges. I am so out of touch with my heart and soul, who I am, what I want from life, my potential. I have no idea anymore. The confusion and the lies are as thick as a maze.

- anon83186 203)

I am 27 years old. I am what most people would call a pathological liar. I have lied from as far back as I can remember. I didn't know I was doing it until I met my fiancé. I have lied to her from the beginning about things that shouldn’t have been lied about to begin with. I realize now that I do it but want to stop.

Although I have gotten a lot better with it and have learned to control it for the most part, I still find myself doing it every once in a while. I lie out of fear. I lie because I'm afraid no one will accept me for who I am. I lie to her because I’m afraid she won't love me for who I am.

She is a wonderful woman and mother. She cares dearly for us. But now I've lied so much in the past that now when I tell the truth, it's hard for her to believe me. She found things out about my past, and was disgusted, disappointed and upset. Which is why I lied about them to begin with.

I know this is not justification but it is the thought process. I adore this woman and would do anything for her which is why I want to fix this issue. I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

I have never been unfaithful. I have never slept around. I have no intentions of sleeping around. This is the woman I want to spend my life with. So please help me.

- anon83161 201)

Sigh no more gents and ladies, sigh no more!

Just accept who you're and what you're, then think about how to live better dealing with your difficulties as everyone on the planet does. PL appears to be great entertainer to make everyone happy and make things go smooth. Find out your way to go!

- anon83033 200)

I am 13 years old and I never thought of myself as a pathological liar before. I am a horrible liar and I lie all of the time about the stupidest things. Nobody in my house believes me and i get caught all of the time. I don't lie about anything serious. I just do it all the time about little silly things.

My mom and dad don't trust me and I get to do nothing that a normal 13 year old would be able to do.

I also feel really guilty all the time because my parents are getting into fights and getting mad at each other more and more easily because of my lying.

I don't do much of this consciously (although I don't even know if that is a lie or if I am just making that up to keep myself from being hurt) but I need it to stop! I hate this life and I've read some other stories from this site and really don't want to end up with no friends, wife, or family that wants me around (which is mostly where I am now).

If anyone has insight or knows what to do I would really appreciate help.

- anon82942 199)

I am 32 years old and a pathological liar. I have been lying for as long as I can remember. I am so ashamed of what I am and of all the things I have said that have hurt others. I never mean to be malicious in my lies, but to be honest I don't really take other feelings into regard until it's too late.

I have no friends; I don't let anyone get that close. I have been with the love of my life for eight years now and we have a child. I have put my husband through pure hell and he still stays?

I have been to psychiatrists and psychologists. They put me on meds and tell me they can't really handle this problem, that maybe I need to seek help from someone more qualified.

I feel like I am an outcast, a villain in a movie that never stops playing. But to my victims I am the most amazing, innocent person they have ever met. Until they cross me and I become defensive and blame it all on them.

I don't want to be like this anymore. Meds seem to exaggerate the problem, and God knows I don't need that!

I literally handed my first two children over to my ex-husband without thought to save myself from lies. You want to know what real heartbreak is? Try explaining to your 12 and 10 year old why they don't live with you and why they only see you randomly throughout the year. Shame on me!

Why can't I stop? Why can't I find the help that I need? Why does it just seem to get worse and never better? Why?

- anon82862 198)

I am 36 and have been a compulsive liar for as long as i can remember. I lie about things that do not even matter, even to the ones I love.

I am on the last leg with my marriage because of it. My wife has given me one more chance. It really took her telling me she was going to tell our children when they came back from vacation about our divorce until I actually looked into the mirror and did not like the reality of my actions and the grief I have caused her.

I feel blessed that she is trying once more and am praying I will be successful. I don't cheat on my wife but when she asks me who I was last evening (I am in sales and entertain clients) I will not be truthful, turning into more lies to cover the last one up. Even though I was with clients.

I am actually thinking about quitting my job because just today (I counted) three people to include my boss who told me to spin the story when i spoke to the customer. I admit I am very good at it and do very well at what I do but it seems like it is contributing to a lifestyle I want to bury and walk away from.

Thanks for reading.

- anon82634 197)

I am 20 years old and have lied a lot in my life. I have lied to make my life seem more “interesting” or to get away with things. I have too much of a bold personality to have such a boring, plain life. It has been my number one downfall.

These are the things I have lied about.

- I have lied about my heritage. I often say I am half Italian, which is not true. I am only a quarter Italian.

- I have lied about my birthplace. I have stated that I was born in Wales, this is not true.

- In the past I used to lie about my age, but I have not had a problem with this for some time. I feel I have finally caught up to myself in age.

- I have lied about my mother. I have stated that she was born and raised in England. She did live in England, yes, but she was born and raised in California.

- I have lied to a few such people about being from New Zealand. I’ve never even been.

- In the past at one point in time, I lied to a few people about being from Louisiana. I haven’t lied about this in some time though.

- I have lied about being Catholic. While I have many family members who are indeed Catholic, I have never seriously practiced Catholicism.

- I have lied about boyfriends. A few I have mentioned, in fact, do not exist.

- I have lied about having a drug history. While I have done some drugs, it is very limited and I know longer do them, except for smoking weed of course, but I hardly classify that as a drug.

- I have lied about jobs I have had. I have had many jobs, but not as many as I have said.

- I have lied about sports I have played. I never played a single sport in high school.

- I have lied about having a child. I have never been pregnant.

I am a liar. I have lied about many other things I can not even think of. I tend to stretch the truth. That is my main means of lying. I take things that are, in fact, truth and stretch them.

For example, my mother has English heritage in her, as do I. I have stretched this saying that I was born in Wales and that my mother is from Wales. This is not true.

I am ashamed and will continue to remain ashamed. I am working very hard on my problem but am so afraid to tell people. I have lied to so many. I have not lied much to my parents though, for they know the truth about my life (the main thing I lie about).

My dear friends also know much of the truth about me. It is small people I think I won’t see again that I tend to lie to. I don’t lie much about little things, mostly big things from my past.

However, I have lied to the love of my life. I met him working at a small theatre where I thought it would be fun to pretend that I was had lived in New Zealand for some time.

Time went on and I kept up the charade. Now, three years later, I am in love with this man and he is love with me and still thinks this true of me (I can be incredibly convincing).

The worst part is - I am extremely good at lying. I have all the facial features, body language, vocal tones, and telltale signs covered. I have back stories and back stories for those. This makes it very difficult to break this "habit".

I don’t know how to not lie. It is more than a habit; it is an addiction as potent and dangerous as drugs.

- anon81655 196)

i don't understand how to beat this. amazing posts.

- anon80786 195)

After reading these articles, I know I'm not alone. I hate lying, hurting the people that mean the world to me having no friends. I wonder why? Who would like a person like me?

For my children's sake and my husband's, I'm going to put an end to this. I'm going to stop myself and start being honest to me and my family starting from now.

- anon80652 194)

I used to lie about everything, just for a little attention. I lied throughout my childhood, just to look cool, and this continued through part of my adulthood.

Ironically, it was one of my good friends who helped me get through this part of my life by constantly calling be someone else's name that I can't remember, in reference to them being a liar.

Now I look back and I feel so stupid. When I get drunk I'll make up crap still, but the next day I tell everyone anything I can remember that was a lie that I was full of it and don't believe the crap I say when I'm drunk.

Now Karma has come back to haunt me with my past. I married a pathological liar and I don't know how to get her to stop, and now she has started to steel from me to boot.

I figure, rather than confront her every time she is lying, I'm going to try the way that broke me. Now I can't even lie about even simple crap without felling completely guilty and retracting my lie as soon as it spills out (unless I'm drunk so i try to stay away from drinking). I wish the best of luck for anyone else who might be having these issues.

- anon80411 193)

I'm 17 and i can definitely say I'm a pathological liar. why am i telling you this? because it gets me really down. i got kicked out of my old school because i made up a story about me and a teacher because i wanted the attention and my friends craved the stories. i just gave them to them. It's strange because at the time i didn't think i was doing anything wrong but looking back i know it was.

I'm at my new school now and i crave the attention of this teacher and i make up stories or act really down when ever he is around just to get sympathy and attention off him.

before i came on here i was thinking about how to hint at a problem to him, to make him feel sorry for me, but without getting anyone into trouble but then i thought i really don't want to do that even though i do, if that makes sense.

so i discovered this site. does anyone know of anything i can do. i confuse myself sometimes. my dad is a mental health nurse so i kind of think he'd notice if there was actually something wrong with me but then again he might not.

i believe I've got what they call histrionic personality disorder but then i don't know if I'm saying that because i actually do or because it seems like i do and i want the attention. it sounds like me -- especially the bit about sexual attention.

I'm just weird but i can't stop myself. I've made up boyfriends, facebook profiles, stories all for either attention, sympathy or sexual attention. I don't know what to do. Ugh. i hate my life!

- anon80220 192)

Wow, i am also a pathological liar. i lie to everyone and everything. I suspect my mom knows that i am one but she just has to cope up with me. I lie about the most silly things.

I am in a relationship with a lovely man who loves me to bits and pieces but i have lied so much about my past, if he knew i am sure he would dump me for sure. When i lie i feel like crap. But lying is all i have done, and when someone confronts me, i hate them forever. As a result i always switch friends so they can't catch up with my lies. I am 25.

Reading this i know i am not alone. I want to stop lying.

- anon79890 191)

My name is Shelby and I am 13 years old and i am a pathological liar. I have been lying for a long time and I have realized it is hurting the people i love more then anything.

Even than when my mom told me to read what a pathological liar was, i felt like it was stupid until i read what the definition was and when i found out everything they were saying was me it really took my breath away because i lie about the most stupid stuff.

Yesterday my mom asked we who was signing this paper that i need signed every week and i immediately said "you and dad have." well she said "i have signed this only a few times all year long". i told a lie and i thought i could get out of it, and right there i knew i should just say i am lying but i didn't.

The one thing that eats me up inside is that i told a big lie to a person i didn't even know. I did it only to make her think I was cool. And the thing is my cousin who knows me caught me lying as I was doing it in front of him and I didn't care that he knew i was lying. He even looked at me weird because he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

After we left the girl he asked me why I was lying so much. It was only to make her think I was cool. The sad part is when i was saying it I really felt cool. And that started me off to be the the person I am today. I don't know why but it makes me feel better when I lie about who I am when I'm talking to others but when I'm done, I think to myself that I am only lying to myself and how miserable I feel.

I simply hate myself and i don't understand why because everything is good in my life. There is no reason to lie about it but I do and still will even after this. But this is going to be my starting point to change. I'm so sick and tired of lying about every little thing that comes my way in life.

How sad that i am 13 and already realize that i have a choice to stop or continue. i have not came to the point of losing my family or friend but i need to stop this nasty habit before my life is washed right before my eyes and reading these posts i realize i am not the only one in the world with this problem and i only lie about the stupid things that are not even worth lying over.

The thing is i would not get in trouble like i do when i lie i want to stop. Saying this is making me feel better and it makes me feel like there is hope in this and i am happy i am not alone in this. if my mom was not here i would not know how to express myself and i am ready to make a commitment for me and the people i love because lying is not the way to go for me. I am still young and i can redirect myself but i don't know how many times i can say this. i am glad i am not in this alone.

P.S. we all ask for help on this site. But we all know the answer to the cure: we just have to listen to it.

- anon79846 190)

i am 26 years of age. my whole life I've lied.

i figure recognising the problem and addressing it will send me down the right path but that's the problem -- the damage is done with what I've lied about!

I've gone from job to job, from girlfriend to girlfriend, and all have lent me a reaching hand to stop the crap, but it's never helped and i lie more and more to make it feel better!

If there was an instant cure tomorrow, you would see me at the front of the line, keen to end the problem!

But there's no cure, no magic therapy -- just a continual urge to lie! sometimes i think why me? Then it gets to the point of taking my own life! It is out of control. I hare being a liar!

The only way is to train yourself. Relax a few times during the day. Read newspapers and magazines and study interesting articles and when you feel the urge, don't say you or someone you know know was involved, say it in a third perspective view! (like, imagine that happening here or happening to that person!) but relate it to the topic and steer away from yourself or others.

Have a safe word so when you're in a conversation with friends and relatives and you feel like blurting something out for the sake of a conversation, say your safety word in your head as many times as you can until the urge recedes or go back to topics you read!

It is curable and it is defeatable - just remember: don't give up. We have all taken the first step in recognising our problem. the hardest part's over. good luck.

- anon79313 189)

my child is nine and he is so careless and a liar. He is brilliant in school but his copies and books look like rubbish. he doesn't care.

he also lies about many things like taking money, and making mistakes. I am getting nervous. he does not give me full respect.

He is very lovely and has a nice personality but when nervous beats his younger sister and wants to be the commander over his brother and sister. please help me know is he normal and how can i deal with him without driving me crazy?

- anon79019 188)

I've lied to everyone in my entire life since I could remember. I started off in grade school, around second or third grade. I was completely friendless, and I did it seeking attention.

But being a young child, I thought it would be ok and i wouldn't have to do it any longer. But, now it's like an impulse.

I lie to people I don't even know. I get my friends in trouble and myself. It's getting way out of hand. I want to stop, but it just happens.

I'm almost 17 years old, and I lie about the most ridiculous things. It started out as a small simple thing just to at least try and get some attention from other kids, because I've grown up emotionally and physically abused by both my parents, and it put much more on me not having any friends.

Now, it's causing me to lose all my friends. I still am verbally and physically abused by my parents, I've been depressed because of it all for the past five years, I've turned to tobacco use, prescription drug abuse, alcohol, and I've been thinking about using meth and coke.

I've also been contemplating suicide a lot lately.

It's just my lying is effecting my life negatively and everyone else around me.

- anon78932 187)

I am thirty one, and I've been a pathological liar for the last twenty years. I lie about everything, what I did in the day, the things I saw. In my real life I am a very boring person, I don't do a lot, and not a lot happens around me, but if you were to hear my stories I'd have you believe that I lived some exciting and dangerous life.

I don't know what to do. I can't stop lying, no matter what I try. I have hoped from group to group, moving every time I knew everyone knew I was a liar. I've no friends from high school, past jobs or social scenes. I've stopped the hopping around now, but I can't stop lying.

I've lied to everyone I know and everyone I meet. My lying has rendered me non viable as a human being, and that's not asking for sympathy, I just lie that often.

I'm scared and I'm tired and I want it to stop. I've tried medications and therapy but nothing seems to help. I just want to open my mouth and not hear another lie come out.

It makes me tired when I leave my friends and I think back on all they lies I told them. It's this stupid, ugly weight that I can't seem to shake.

I no longer seek a relationship because I've lied to all my ex's and don't want to cause anyone else any more pain- no, I'm tired of feeling guilty. I try not to talk when I'm out, but I can't help but babble.

Whenever I'm confronted, I turn almost psychotically defensive and create more lies that explain why my accusers are lying and are "Out to get me."

I've never cheated on anyone, I've never crossed lines like that, but I can't stop lying.

I'm thirty one and I've been a pathological liar for the last twenty years and I don't know what to do.

- anon78097 186)

I am fifteen and I'm a pathological liar. I just now realized it when I read this article. I lie about the dumbest things there are.

I lie about brushing my teeth, taking out the trash, putting away the laundry. I lie about experiences from when I was younger and it is tearing me apart. I'll make up elaborate, stupid things that could've happened to me and tell them to someone just to see their reaction.

I've lied and have been lying to my family and friends for years. I have never done drugs or been popular, but that isn't what my friends know.

I finally found this girl that I love and I lie to her all the time and it hurts the second it leaves my lips. The only reason I looked this up was because one day she jokingly said that I was a pathological liar.

And when I read about what it was I was really hurt until I realized that she was right. She may have been joking, but it is exactly what my problem is.

Sometimes I don't even know what the truth is. It is really scary and it hurts when I think about all the pain I have caused to the people that I really care about. I hate seeing the people I love suffer from my problem.

I would try to get therapy, but I would probably lie to the therapist so much it wouldn't even help.

The only reason I haven't lied in this post is because it's anonymous and even at that I'm still tempted to try and say how my problem is worse than any of the others posted here, just so I could get some sympathy from you.

- anon77326 185)

There's this girl i know. She also is a pathological liar. I used to be friends with her, but her lying began to get out of control and my friends also began to see who she really was.

It's not the fact that she would lie, but it's the fact that even when we caught her up in a lie with hard evidence, she would lie as if her life depended on it. It got so frustrating to the point that i stopped hanging out with her.

I admit i would make fun of her, which i feel bad about, but it really began to irk me to a point where i just wished she would admit just one lie, that's it and would leave her alone.

As a Christian i know it's bad to take such a thing so personally and to talk bad about her but when i would hang out with her it would be so hard not to.

It's almost as if she believes her own lies. Right now she has just came out with the biggest one yet, that she's pregnant. About a month ago i told her friend abby not to believe her because shes going to say that she had a miscarriage, and sure enough, i found out today that she said she had a miscarriage, go figure.

Please someone pray for this girl that she might be able to get treatment. she needs help and if she doesn't get it taken care of she's going to be completely friendless.

- anon77302 184)

I have pure obsessional OCD and mild Asperger's and I sometimes exaggerate, mostly to make conversation and relate to others.

I find it difficult to converse with people on a normal level, so instead I relate to them by agreeing with what they're sayi