Dealing with Aspergers and Relationshipsby admin, aspergershq.com
January 14th 2012
Aspergers and relationships
One of the many intriguing facets of an individual with Aspergers syndrome is studying of the condition of Aspergers and relationships. Aspergers syndrome is a high functioning disorder, whereby an individual with that condition are known to be intelligent and talented, but they lack severely in any sort of social skills, they are uncomfortable in crowds, do not enjoy contact and lack the general realisation of social and environmental cues for behaviour. This condition makes it especially hard for people with Aspergers to always carry out normal, reciprocated loving relationships, making aspergers and relationships difficult to deal with.
Love is especially confusing to those having Aspergers. A person with Aspergers doesn’t usually seek the same depth of expressions of love and may even see certain acts, like a hug, pervasive. Like everyone else if not more so, people with Aspergers grow up with a keen interest of acquiring knowledge, be it romantic knowledge. It is often that a young person with Aspergers has very few friends to discuss and experience the social and romantic world with and hence subject to things shown on television or even pornography in extreme cases. Not only does this give them the complete wrong idea of love and relationships, it also stops individuals with Aspergers from naturally experiencing a relationship, thereby creating a huge divide between aspergers and relationships
Understanding Aspergers and relationships
Statistics have also highlighted this gap between having aspergers and relationships. Approximately 80% of people with Aspergers do not end up getting married or settled in a long-term relationship, though it is not to say that they lack emotion in any way. Any kind of love is an induced state of mind caused by hormones in our body, such as Dopamine results in the euphoric feeling of being infatuated by another. In a more serious and stable relationship, Oxytocin comes to play, which usually establishes a bond of love and trust, forming an ideal relationship, mentally and physically. These pleasure hormones make us feel good about the things one is involved in and as things proceed the hormones are reinforced in the body. However, for people with Aspergers, their hormone system works in a slightly different manner. The Oxytocin induced in their body, doesn’t lead to attraction for another person, instead it enhances their interests in objects and theories and almost makes them infatuated with it. For individual with Aspergers relationships are hard because of it complex, individualistic nature, they function better with thought and logical actions. Simply put, individuals with Aspergers do not form strong relationships because they do not need to.
Another reason why Aspergers and relationships clash for people is because of their low self esteem. People with Aspergers very often suffer from very low self-esteem, throwing them in an emotional tizzy and hence defining their lack of social skills. Individuals with Aspergers always have a tendency to over analyse everything they’re doing and that is happening, this causes them to draw up conclusions that don’t necessarily exist. Emotions also fail them, because they fail to find a logical explanation behind them. People with Aspergers always have a strong feeling that they aren’t good enough and feel like they do not deserve any person to love them in a steady relationship, hence causing a further clash of aspergers and relationship. Depression is yet another reason why people with Aspergers fail to function properly in relationships. Very often people with Aspergers suffer from erratic mood swings and find themselves in such extreme situations to then be unable to survive a normal relationship.
Despite the problems majority of the people with Aspergers face, there are adults with Aspergers who carry out successful romantic and unromantic relationships with others. Through the complexity of it, one sees individuals with Aspergers and their relationships.
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